Direction

In reflecting on the last few weeks of starting school and processing everything that is happening, and still really trying to glean and distill learning from the last six years of successes and losses, the returning thought is on to what I pay attention. I am reading different books like Atomic Habits, Trust and Inspire, and Courageous Capacity. They all look at improvement in differentways. In Atomic Habits there is a tendency toward structure for desired action, Trust and Inspire is more on your way of thinking about who you are leading, and Courageous Capacity is on intentionally growing people's skills. Another book, Perfect Practice, is more about intentional best practice through rehearsal. These books look at thinking and action as ways to improve. 

Trying to attach these ideas to being and acting more like Jesus as an educator, which he was, I think there is a gap in me wanting to help people improve as opposed to loving people, and through love, trying to help them improve. I add to that how Jesus loved God his father, and that love of God inspiring, spirit within, him to love, serve, and lead others. This way of living does provide, not just ways to improve, but a source and model to look at. In education, we use exemplars to guide perfect action and  production to teach learners how to close the gap between perfection and current practice. Jesus focused on God and went early to spend time with God BEFORE serving people. He would stop serving people and go away TO BE WITH GOD, taking time to re-inspire himself. 

I feel guilty taking any time away to care for myself. I compare myself to others to see who is more dedicated, who is stronger, tougher in not needing time off. I think this stems from military and business training that teaches performance and productivity as the consuming focus of attention to get results. The missing piece to this thinking and teaching is that human flourishing is the whole point. "I have come so that you may have life, and have it to the full" is a statement of intention that the goal is for people to live their best life. I don't think this is a state of non-work, I think we get positive feelings and affirmation from work, like meaning, helping others, improvement, and appreciation. I think we experience those things and less on anxiety and burnout trying to maximize past our capacity. 

I imagine the drill instructor who uses fear to compel people to take risks, however, makes learners then dependent on fear for improvement. In psychology, fear narrows and shrinks thinking while love, according to Dr. Barbara Frederickson, builds and broadens. Love-based education then, would be to first focus on loving someone and then deciding how to help them best for them. People know when they are loved and they know when they are being used to someone else's purpose. 

I think then, time taken to fill yourself with the love and trust of God is time needed to begin and continue from a power of love. That is pure and replenishing power. It can shift your attention from the fear of failure, of hitting the wall, toward where you want to be and go. My brother told me that drivers are taught if you look at the wall, you hit the wall. If you look at where you want to go, that is where you will go. Keep your attention on where you want to go.